I’m afraid I don’t know where this originates, but I just had to make an exception and post it anyway. And now I’m off to play…
Tag: inner conviction
Today
Another gorgeous day to look at after a stormy Saturday by the sea. It’s still painfully cold, but the sun, ah, the sun! Makes me feel like this: (remember to turn up your speakers)
So I mentioned a picture book about my Charlie and how I’ve had the title ready for years but not really getting any further ideas. Well, after going public with it, suddenly little sentences are plopping into my head while I’m driving, when I wake up, nothing to make a Stephen King sized novel, but quite amazing considering my brain has been on strike for so long. Trickle is fine, I still have all the artwork to do. 😉
I’ve also experienced lately how communicating openly about various issues, such as carrying an emotional trauma in my body from multiple “rodeo” incidents in the last 10 years that were both shocking and painful (no, not Charlie’s doing), makes the whole issue, not solved and gone but somewhat deflated, a lot calmer and slightly more rational. Simply by acknowledging, to myself not the least, that the problem exists. I had been putting that one at the bottom of my list of “things to work with” and suddenly realised it might actually belong somewhere at the top (or I just finally got ready to deal with it – long story that I’m not going to bore you with)
This is very interesting to me – how speaking your intention out loud apparently sets wheels in motion that just thinking and worrying in your own head doesn’t. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. But it’s something I’m going to play with. A new level of honesty – not that I lie, but there’s lots I don’t tell for various reasons. Or I gloss over problems: real horsegurlz aren’t scared of anything, right? What is also interesting about this concept is whether it sharpens my own resolve, focus, ability to see the path. Will my words and thoughts about subjects become less fuzzy and click into place? I’m sure we could all use more clarity from time to time, or am I the only one who has no clue where I’m headed and what my “calling” might be?
To be continued – a storm of comments are as always welcome.

Garden of thoughts
“Your existence has many doors, and each serves a purpose
that ultimately helps define who you are.
Sometimes it is hard to open these doors.
Often you would think it just wonât work.
It takes patience and perseverance, but you must believe
that you already have every key for each door you encounter.
Imagine your heart as the keychain where all the keys you will ever need
in your lifetime are dangling, waiting for you to use.”
~ Dodinsky
To do list or not to list
I don’t really do resolutions at specific times or other calendar assisted activities if I can help it, but 2012 was a bitch right up to and with the last day, and I don’t want a repeat. Won’t bore you with the details, but one of the things I’ve spent some time pondering is chores, schedules, plans and to-do lists. So now is as good a time as ever to create new routines.
I love making lists, it seems to declutter my head (a bit) and oh, the joy of crossing something out! But. I also learned that those lists in fact add considerably to my stress levels. Must do! Look how busy I am! I make short term day lists and long term big chores lists. Tape them to the kitchen cupboard.
Then I tried something new, I put them away. And realised that A, I can learn to not repeat them in my head all day in case I forget and B, I actually get just as many things done anyway. Perhaps even more, actually, because less time is spent fretting over the amount of items. I’m learning that not all things are equally important nor urgent, who’d have thought!?
So my hope for 2013 apart from a smoother ride, is to keep reprogramming my whole mindset about these things and just really go with the flow. Leave room for lots of breaks and marvel if I don’t need them! Rather than feeling guilty for sneaking them in. I still have goals, but every step I make towards each one is fine, no deadlines.
So how do you all juggle the stuff that “needs” to get done, stuff you want to do and all the rest? Do you deliberately limit yourself to a manageable number of hobbies/activities so you don’t spread yourself thin, do you schedule heavily, delegate chores (I knew there was at least one reason I should have had kids!), happily swim in a sea of options, picking as you go along?
(some of) The List
- Scan my old negatives (3 heavy binders full)
- Play with sampling/mixed media
- Start painting again
- Try garden printing
- Organize my image files
- Finish my garden chores (separate list!)
- Clean ALL the things!
- Exercise regularly
- Meditate daily
- Drink more water
- Create a work schedule and stick to it
- Design sweaters
- Don’t worry
- Ride more
- Clutterfree desk
- Be happy
- Spin the karakul and other odd wools for weaving (and to clear storage space)
- Make a loom and start weaving
- Get books on weaving from the library (probably in that order)
- Don’t worry
- Spin ALL the wool, then buy more. Dye it.
- Write every day, not just the silly blog
- Clean up the courtyard between buildings
Carry all the firewood inside before winterdone- Restore order to the barn
Wash horse blanketsdone- “Quilt” collages from cutout water colours
- Process box of fiber from “Goliath” the camel
- Tonnes of dull sewing and repairs…
- Finish knitting projects
- Learn about felting. Get books from library. Etc.
- Work on the other artsy project ideas (separate list)
- See people
- Go new places
- Order new firewood and stack it
- Declutter garage (Oh my)
- Empty wash room, tear down wall, build a new one
- File backups
- Find a/some nice yarnbase/s to order in bulk for dyeing
- …

New tricks
Time for another report from my ongoing quest to beat painter’s/writer’s block. I can’t say that I’ve done very much besides tend to a sick cat, get a skin biopsy on my face and knitting/reading/baking/cleaning to take my mind off it (well, the cat mostly, to be honest). But I did climb into the hayloft and found that I had quite a large pile of stretcher bars stashed up there, so I’ve ordered a roll of canvas. Just the cheap cotton variety for now, to take off the pressure of “ruining expensive supplies”. I obviously must have intended to get back in the game, since I’ve been moving these around for the last 20 years (and some of those moves involved very cramped quarters).
Another challenge is how and where to store my papers. Not just various unused watercolour pads, but the finished or half finished products such as my leaf prints. I want easy access to browse them in case I think of a project where I can use them, rather than stow away and forget. I feel this is important, but maybe it’s my overachiever speaking. My office is woefully small and very full… Spare room has my fiber in it, as much shelf space as I can possibly steal. (“Sweetie, those old OS/2 manuals aren’t really required anymore, are they? Fancy a trip to the dump? And what are these, 386 motherboards?”) Score: I just discovered a lot of VIDEO TAPES on one shelf, it’s not like we even have a player anymore…. And, well, I can’t deny that I sometimes think up plans for one half of the sideboard under the tv. To those of you who think “poor man”, well, his only hobby is his job and can be done in an office half the size of mine. Besides, he’s got a mouth and a throat, I assume he knows how to make noise with them if he feels inclined.


As I was tearing up old sheets into rags for use when painting, I came to think of another tool to spark creativity: Boredom. In fact I had to take a break already halfway through the first sheet to come out here and begin this blog post! Much to the delight of the kitten, who thought I was making a new toy for him on the floor….
There simply isn’t anything like boredom, or being unable to get to your art supplies, that creates ideas like a stroke of lightning. Showers, driving, visiting boring relatives, cleaning your office. So if sitting in front of your canvas for 3 hours doodling doesn’t do the trick, try the opposite. 😉 (although that sounds pretty boring too, but it needs to be the doing-something-boring kind to work I think)
I even managed to smear some orange onto one of my starter canvasses (finding in the process more old brushes filled with hair and gunk), before whipping myself into obedience and ripping up more sheets. Although I was tempted to hop back online to shop for brushes and other cool stuff (gotta get the most out of the postage, right?).

For those of you who think I’m not very disciplined, well, I can be if the need arises. I just don’t think ripping sheets is going to save the whales, so I’m cutting myself some slack. Besides, after I decided to test how many layers I could rip at once, it all became a bit more fun and was over pretty quick too. After Arthur was done playing with the pile, I even sat down and folded my rags to put into one of the Expedit boxes! 😉 Then I got rid of the gunk and covered my yellow painting in a coat of white. And then writing this I realize those rags probably have cat hairs on them now – doh!
Doing something tedious but productive with your hands like Heidi mentioned for my last post, such as spinning wool, also helps by just touching and working with the materials. You get ideas for new yarns, the colours of the new yarns my remind you of something and ooops, a painting is pushing its way forward. You need to learn to not think of your grocery shopping list while you do this, however. The idea is to empty your mind to make room for new, if writing down your old ideas in a notebook didn’t work.

So next trick is hands on: Learn/do something new. If you paint but can’t get into gear, learn to knit, speak French, cook, take a photography class. If your new thing IS painting, it may not work. Anything that gets your juices flowing, make you feel a bit more alive is guaranteed to also set your creative wheels in motion. New stuff has a better chance of achieving that compared to silly old tv shows and Friday nights at the pub. (ok, I admit that I have no idea how inspired you can actually get at the pub, the question is, do you remember your ideas the day after and are they still as good as last night?)
I think I forgot to mention: collect resources. If I did indeed mention it, forgive me for repeating. Every time I see a neat picture, colour, motive, skill, anything that moves me, I consider saving it as a reference. Not to publish or copy, just to look at for inspiration. This works great in this day and age, 20 years ago I had a shelf full of binders, such a waste of space compared to a harddrive.
At the moment I seem to be into collecting skies among other things that happen to appear in front of me. I never really use any of them as an explicit reference, they just get me started. Such as:
I hadn’t actually looked at the photo in a while, and as you can see I got it totally wrong, but it was nevertheless my starting point. (sorry about the flash – it’s so dark here at the moment) And then I began thinking up other skies at all sorts of odd hours. I’m not sure why, since I actually thought I was going to be painting abstract/intuitive like. But as I’ve been advocating, gotta go with the flow, follow the red thread as we say in DK. Skies it is. Until it isn’t. I’m not going to show you the finished painting just yet, because then I wouldn’t be publishing this post for quite a while. So it’s all WIPs.
Next on the program is refreshing my theory and daring to blend “dirty” colours. Just so I don’t keep hurting eyes out there. 😉
Something that can also be fun is to ask other people for themes. Ask them to make up a random sentence or word (or read a random page in a random book). Illustrate that somehow, not necessarily paint something that looks like a horse, or, if you do get a bunch of random words, combine three. “Blue horse on fire”. – “Usually you just feel him passing, sir, but I have seen him twice, in what would have been the flesh, if he had any.” Your turn! Send me a theme or challenge in the comments below and I promise to post the results of the ones I try out.
And when all else fails, a quote that I snarfed from Tintina’s blog:
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” -Arthur Ashe
To those who don’t know what the h… I’m going on about:
> 1. Finally
> 2. Beginner’s mind
> 3. Creating creativity






