Resistance

appleblossom05Oh yes, why am I surprised? Today is my first day without chores in, like, a month, and what do I do? Wake up with a headache. Can’t read, can’t enjoy the lovely sunny day outside, no painting, spinning or anything. I can’t remember doing anything physically challenging yesterday either, which could aggravate my spine. If I believed in such things as outside forces of Fate I’d say that I’m not “supposed” to enjoy myself too much with activities that nourish me. Just as I had every hindrance available to make me stop horseriding… (which incidentally worked, now that I’m out of money and my bones all beaten up) And there I was, all certain the thread collection was a little sign!

Sigh, I suppose I could wash the bed linen and s**t… Really, I could have done that WHILE I was weaving! <shaking fist in the air> 😉

Perhaps it’s time that I begin work on my next Keyword, Listen. To my body even more, although I’ve been trying hard to pay attention to it (some claim I should say “her”, but I’m not really down with that), but now also to my subconscious, my Self, everything around me. It’s really, really frustrating to want something badly and look forward to it and then not get it. I deserve a break! I’m not sure I’ll ever be content with a life purpose of cleaning woman, so I need to find out what else to do if I can’t pursue the things that light me up. What path haven’t I noticed yet? In the meantime I’ll probably fight back and do my things in tiny, tiny bits if that’s what I get, but wouldn’t it be nice if I figured out what this Resistance is really all about once and for all?

How do you talk to your Resistance? Apparently kicking and screaming isn’t doing the job, LOL.

12 thoughts on “Resistance

  1. I feel your frustration! I long ago lost count of the times I wore myself out with stuff and then was too tired/ill to enjoy my free time. I have learned a few lessons from the Husband. He takes his fun/relaxation/things he wants to do first, chores come last. It took some adjusting and I have to constantly remind myself, but it’s a lesson I’m glad to learn.

    1. I’ve been trying to do it like that, but sometimes I forget / my inner mother monster (my real mother never tells me how much to clean my house!) takes over, or things just can’t be postponed. Like that insurance inspection… All over now, long time sore point gone from the list AND moneys saved… I haven’t had a lot of assistance lately either, so I guess that added to my mental overload especially.

  2. I always do my chores first too Pia. I sympathise with how you’re feeling. It happens to all of us. I suppose it is the body saying we need to rest, like … do nothing for a day, but it’s so hard when you’ve been looking forward to it, whatever it is. Get well soon 🙂

    1. Thanks. 🙂 Today was not when I was supposed to do chores first, though, I just managed to strain a collander of corn pasta for G’s dinner, then proceeded to drop it into the sink, sideways. No pasta left in the collander! I’m so not starting over…

    1. Thanks (again – I seem to go on about this a lot lately). I used to think it was hormonal, as it wakes me up at 6 in the morning and leaves in the evening, every time. Some of it probably is too, but the random occurrences – perhaps it’s some form of residual resentment? I did announce a time out and turnaround the other day, but sometimes the body does not let go of emotions when we command it to…. Random thoughts and glands are what control us, not free will!

      1. But you are probably right that acceptance is a big part of the equation. Not one of my strong points along with faith, I admit it.

  3. Øv ja, jeg tror vi alle kender “feriemigræne”. Og løsningen er i hvert fald her, at have et par dage i træk, eller fler efridage med kun én besat dag ind i mellem. Det er ikke kun noget med mentale benspænd, men også noget med forsinkede stressreaktioner, der først duklker op, når man kan slappe af.

    1. Ja, jeg tror du har ret. Jeg er stadig lidt konfus i dag selvom jeg har det godt. (sidder lige her og skulle til at trykke send på et nyt tåbeligt indlæg)

  4. I also woke up with a headache today – and a day I have only a little work that needs to be done today. At least though I have the knowledge of what caused it. Long day yesterday, late night, and that margarita was really a little too strong!

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