Tag: life
Like a child
I thought I was going to write about and show postcards and doodles today, but things got in the way of making them, not me, things! I swear! So instead here’s a little something to give you at least a chuckle.
In some earlier posts we’ve discussed the topic of having a vocation and several readers agreed that perhaps you don’t need one. When you read advice on these things around the web, one suggestion is to ask: “What did you enjoy as a child and is that what you should be doing as an adult?”
So I thought it would be fun to dump the same question here, hoping that you’ll all play along with me. Do you agree with this theory or not, are you doing what you loved as a kid or at least something that makes you feel the same way, do you wish you had the guts to, and if, why don’t you?
I’ll start: As a kid I loved drawing, books, building things and making up stories, and, well horses. I had my debut as a photographer when I was 4! (unfortunately not a regular occurrence, film was expensive I guess). There was even a certain fascination with yarn winders and knitting machines… I also enjoyed doing these things on my own, I wasn’t desperate to have friends around all the time or even my family. Geesh, what do you mean “no surprise”?!
So why didn’t I end up working with the things I liked? Well, I used to have a million bad excuses. How I didn’t enjoy math, didn’t want to move, blablabla.
- There have been several related carreer choices on the table in my teens and 20’s, such as veterinarian, archaeologist, architect, psychologist, photographer, but I could never commit enough to just one when thinking of the huge debt I’d have on the other side of uni. You know, in case I picked the wrong one? At that age you think everything you choose is forever….
- I had bought into the theory that you can’t make a living from art. And for some reason, during high school all my stories disappeared. I was too timid to find an apprenticeship in photography because everybody kept telling me how hard it was.
- Nobody had mentioned to me you need to work hard to accomplish things. (actually perhaps somebody did and I didn’t believe them?) Homework was something I did with a flick of my
magic wandpencil and things I couldn’t do I just didn’t out of embarrassment to be seen failing. Again, the ignorance of youth! Life is wasted on the young. - Even then my batteries weren’t good enough to be able to work and study at the same time, for instance I battled a chronic headache from 18-25 years of age. Hence the commitment issue and fear of choosing. But really, I think I was just lazy. I could have insisted somebody investigated the headaches for instance, but I don’t think that ever occurred to me. (eventually I did find the cause, rather by coincidence)
So I’ve been away from all of these interests for longer periods as an adult, doing various odd jobs, but they keep circling round. By now I’ve given up trying to adapt to society and just be me, which is great. I’m not rich but I do have a roof over my head and I’m definitely not undernourished either. 😉
Let’s see a bit of interaction!
It’s funny how you begin to remember more things when you turn to them like this. Some of my “dream jobs” elude me right now, although I know there were more, but I suddenly remember how sometimes I went along to pick up my mum from the office (Normally I was the last one to be picked up after the day).
And if I begged real hard I was allowed to use the typewriter! It was long before I could write but I loved operating it and seeing all the letters appear. Later we had a small typewriter at home and I used it to write little stories and paste them into notebooks with drawings.
Winter schedule update
I thought I’d mention how well I’m actually doing with my intentions to be more efficient and procrastinate less. It may not be apparent on the blog, since I skip from topic to topic as usual!
I have a loose regime of studying/writing/doing computer work before noon and paints/fibers in the afternoon, and I stick to that pretty well. I choose a topic for study, get a book on it and work through that one or two chapters a day. Or I search for website tutorials, open up a selection of tabs, and work my way through them one by one. In the evenings I read whatever or knit.
There is some going to and fro, which is perhaps also some procrastination thing, but it seems I get ideas for one subject while I’m doing another and if I ignore it the idea goes away. So I indulge, take notes or go do the thing I’m inspired to, then come back to what I was doing before. As long as it’s not an evasive behaviour I find that it works alright. So I’m a person who writes silly poetry while spinning yarn, blog posts in the shower and beget paintings in bed. Fine. I’ll most likely always have a tonne of different ideas and not enough time to work on them. My mind keeps telling me to work on something else on the list no matter which one I choose, but I don’t think it’s so much a short attention span as a wide one. Making lists and going over them regularly does help, so that I’m sure nothing is forgotten, no need to keep repeating it in my head until it gets done.
When I do my “chapters” I do try to contain myself. I’ve also managed to stay true to the goal of getting updated on the Adobe suite, saving most other bookish subjects for later. Still working on it, it’s not like I’m making a full-time job of it for now.
Sometimes I do have to discipline myself to stop clicking the interwebs or ignore the urge to clip my toenails, but other than that I feel like I fill up my days to the extent that I’m able as well as resting when I need to and not when I want to (which is hardly ever – you can always do just one more thing, right?). Thank goodness I don’t have a social life. <G>
All in all I think a pretty good improvement. I have some plant dye experiments on hold and I plan to do them all inside a week or so, doing that and just that, not on the side while doing everything else too. Reprogramming your brain and undoing more than 40 years’ worth of habits is not something you do in a month or two, but I’m beginning to trust that it is in fact possible. Perhaps by 50? 😉
So what about slow and simple living you ask? Yes – it is in fact something I ponder from time to time, and I do implement it to a certain extent. But I also think that one of the keys is how you think and feel about the things you do and not just cutting them down. The guilt. The hurry. The duties. The performance. Those are the things I want to cut out, not just my number of activities. Efficiency is not about doing more, it’s about doing it well and as easily as possible. Can you do more cleaning in a shorter time simply by changing your attitude and your method? Voila, that leaves more time and headroom for important stuff without feeling rushed. Or a nap.
Last week the lovely Raquel popped by with a link which accurately describes the kind of person I’ve always been. So now I’ve been diagnosed 😉 Not that I plan to let anyone cure me, I rather see it as a handy excuse as well as an incentive to work harder – my way. “Follow your heart and trust that the dots will connect”. Which is pretty much what I’ve been trying to tell myself the last couple of years. Maybe I wasn’t all that wrong.
Everybody has closets
How courageous are you when it comes to showing the world the real you – not only your strengths, but also owning your vulnerabilities? This is something I’ve been pondering for a while, but I had a lesson/insight presented to me on the topic today and then 5 minutes later a friend posted this video on FB. (Courtesy of Upworthy.com)
On another note: it appears I can knit a little again! My thumb is still sore like you wouldn’t believe it, but I can do things. I’m going to attempt some spinning too.
NoNoWriMo
As the season changes again from early autumn glory into endless darkness, I feel myself changing gears too. Not just in my activities as I’ve mentioned before, but also inside. It’s not yet noticable to you perhaps, but my blogging gear feels different somehow. I want to say other things, and differently, but how or what exactly hasn’t emerged yet.
November appears to be a silent month. A cold, grey, muddy silence, that is, when the winds aren’t howling with rage. Inside and out. Perhaps I don’t really want to say anything, but haven’t realized it yet. Or I do, but why?
I thought this was going to be a writing winter for me. Not any kind of monthly challenge or reporting to anyone; just because I felt like it and my thumb still can’t knit or the various other things I’d planned, but it can type, sortof. Or I can type without it, rather. But I could be wrong. My creative channels are static at the moment so I find myself on the sofa with Neil Gaiman, who appears to have fiber optics installed.
I may be back eventually, you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you. 😉 It could be tomorrow, or next year. I don’t even have a pretty picture for you today, you’ll have to go find one yourself on the other blog. Could be false alarm too, and I’ll continue my regular nonsense before you can blink an eye!
And no worries – I’m not any kind of depressed or such. Just odd. Probably a normal reaction when you have to adapt to an unwanted situation. From extreme high to wallowing in the mud!