Tag: creativity

Changes

PiaChit Chat

sloth dreaming his life away

The wishcasting Wednesday project had me thinking about how we shape our lives, because I can’t really decide whether I think all this dreamboard “Secret Law of Attraction” stuff is just another New Age brainfart or whether I sortof believe in it. I mean, it would be nice if you could just think and dream anything into your life, yes? Part of me just says “naaah – airy fairy bs”. I guess as on many other issues, I remain the agnostic, never a convert.

But as a person in my mid-forties still not quite knowing what I’ll be when I grow up, this has always been an important issue, do I have a calling or not *, why am I here, how do I get over there? We all want to feel useful, to contribute and be of service (well most of us) and have a bit of joy in the meantime. I realise that your calling isn’t necessarily your job (but even so, jobs don’t have to be absolutely dreary, do they?), not all of us need to be heroes either, but it would be nice to feel that you’re not just here passing time and water.

Another reason this subject is interesting to me is that ahead of me is having to completely reinvent my previous “career” (again) and I haven’t got a clue. I know what my dream job would be of course, but I’m not of the school that claims you can be ANYTHING. No, I could never have been a ballet dancer or a nuclear physicist, ok? I just don’t have it in me. (my luck is, I didn’t want to, but that wouldn’t have helped me) Unfortunately one part of my personality that I’ve not been able to retrain is that I become extremely grumpy in the long run if I’m not passionate about what I’m doing. Well, actually I see that as a good quality, but it makes life a bit more complicated in a world of many boring jobs.

ANYWAY, this post then popped up last week and confirmed what it was I was trying to think: How to Change Your Life: A User’s Guide : zenhabits.

I guess I do believe in making wish lists and dream boards and affirmations and all that sh*t. I’ve even seen the stuff happen. But I don’t think they work on their own, or, well, in a way they do, but not the way they’re usually presented.

Affirmations help reprogram your brain, your subconscious, your perception of life and more importantly, yourself. If you keep at it, you can dig new pathways instead of the old limiting beliefs you have. For me this is not happening just because I read something clever and decide, oh yeah, this is truth! Doesn’t make one bit of real change in me. I need it repeated over and over again until suddenly I realise something HAS been replaced, I have changed one of my thinking habits so that it now is the automatic one. Get out of the groove and into a new one.

Affirmations remind you to take action, they don’t work on their own by sending out holy vibrations into the Universe. (well, maybe I’m wrong and they actually do, but it doesn’t seem to be enough) Write it all down, but also take steps to get there, pick them up once in a while, brainstorm a bit. Add to your list not just each goal, but every method you can think of that would get you closer. Use them to stay focused. If you want 10.000 followers on your blog, you do have to spend a fair amount of time at your keyboard outputting stuff, not just writing the goal on a slip of paper and put it in a pink box with a coloured rock on top.

Also, like Leo says, small steps work for me. Teeny tiny steps in fact. Breaking down my goals into really small ones. Because it’s so much easier to get quick(ish) successes that way and boost your confidence and will to keep working. In fact, sometimes my first step is the intention itself, nothing more. Thinking it over, tasting a bit, rephrasing, getting used to it to wear down inner resistance, backing up to get a running start if you will. It won’t work unless I decide I believe in it.

Some habits I find harder to automate than others, such as drinking enough water. I think I have it down pat for a couple of months, then all of a sudden I realise I’ve stopped again. I can go all day on one cup of tea unless I actively keep it at the front of my mind at all times. Glass, tap, water, bring it with you, drink, refill. I have no idea why this is, maybe I have a brain defect. 😉

I also try not to fixate on one particular outcome, I use broad descriptions for some things, such as – is it important to be working with one particular thing, for instance “I want to be a painter” (to keep it inside the subjects of this blog), or could “I want to work with creative crafty things” work? The latter opens up to being a teacher, a writer, a yarn designer, a sculptor, make your own suggestions. Limiting yourself to one outcome closes you to all the future options that you haven’t yet imagined but which would make you just as happy. Maybe you’d be fine not working with artsy stuff, so “I have a wonderful, fulfilling, wellpaid job” might do the trick? Having written that, another blog post from Leo turned up, so maybe those invisible vibrations out there do work somehow. 😉

The Not Knowing Path

Then again I’ve found I need to narrow down the description or be real specific for other wishes. Not that I’m in the market for one, but writing “I want a husband” could attract all sorts of losers, you know? But you did get what you asked! You didn’t say he had to be nice. So I guess you do have to be aware of your preferences and just as importantly, what you most certainly don’t want. Sometimes life offers you things that you are meant to turn down. Lists and affirmations help you come clear on those issues.

Another problem with visualization as a meditation, a practice where you find your deepest feelings and see yourself already in the desired situation, is that many people seem to focus on something they’re actually obsessed by. Becoming financially very rich very fast, meeting that film star etc. In fact I believe that if you’re really good at it, it can be very unhealthy and wear you down instead. Deplete your energy, an escape from life as it is right now. So not only are you not getting your desire, you’re not getting anywhere.

The third link that came up for me as I was drafting this post in bits and pieces (jotting down keywords more like), was this. Today I have no idea why I included it, maybe you guys can make sense of it. I’ve certainly had my fair share of burnout in my quest for purpose….

Burnout: How To Recognise It, How To Fix It + How To Get Better At It

I know there’s probably a booklist a mile high and an even longer blogroll of people talking more eloquently about these things than me. But for some reason I learn better when I say things myself. Also, even though I do read very fast, there’s a limit to how much I have time to search and digest, so a few things I just have to do the hard way and figure out, even if I’m just reinventing hot water. So I’ll insist on throwing this kind of rants at you once in a while as part of my open intentions project. I can’t afford a therapist. 😉 And this is a lot more fun too I’m sure.

_____________________________________________________

* And after writing that, I stumbled on this quote from Paulo Coelho: “Life has a way of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once.” Well, Synchronicity I have to believe in, since it keeps happening to me all the time. Maybe just a question of “you see what you focus on”, but it does appear to be a little bit spookier that just so. And that is another blog post to be written or not.

My inner hippie

PiaAcid Dyeing

Snow dyeing is a bit like tie-dyeing, only more unpredictable. But groovy. And in this case, very loud. At least to begin with! I hadn’t planned the colours before I got started, which tends to result in too many of them.

I thought I’d used very little powder, being careful to keep the areas separate, but as you can see throughout the process, it was more than ample. I’d love to try to mix the powders beforehand (for special colours) and apply them to the snow with a small sieve, just a light sprinkle to get spotted yarn. I haven’t got one however. I may try – something. Just one more skein, since the white fluff isn’t going to evaporate this month apparently.

snowdye1

snowdye2

snowdye3

snowdye4

snowdye5

So what happened here?

1 – I know this yarn needs to be tied, and Every. Single. Time I think – “nah, it’ll be ok.” I must love detangling. I do know why I don’t tie it – it’s because I hate it when my figure-8s are too tight, leaving little white bands on the yarn. But, really – learn to do your ties properly.

2 – So I also do know my colour wheel and which colours = mud. As long as you keep them separate, fine, and a teeny bit of blending just mutes them, also fine. What I did think but did not listen to, is “let the yarn drip dry before you attempt to set the dye“. It’s been soaked with melted snow, it’s overflowing. A bit of a squeeze isn’t enough. What happens when you lie it inna heap in the sink? The overflow blends. Guess then what. And yes, I do have a strainer. In fact I have 3. This also goes if you want to wrap your yarn in plastic and steam it. Let it drip dry first. OK? Preferably stretched out horisontally, like, leave it on the rack for instance?

3 – Bubbles and steam does not mean your water is near boiling, in fact it’s only about 65 C. Not enough to shock set your dye. = Muddy water. Flush and repeat. Get your bleedin’ thermometer out.

4 – Do this part of the process when you’re NOT supposed to be doing something else and so feeling guilty and in a bit of a hurry. Resist instant gratification. Surely it can’t be that hard.

I suggest you read some tutorials if you haven’t done this before. I never do until I’ve tried and screwed up at least once, usually twice or more. By which time I’ve usually got it figured out. I guess I have more fun that way, even though I get slightly odd results in the process.

And if you do like muted or mudcoloured yarn – do what I did, not what I said. 😉

danish

Hippie-farvning

Jeg skulle liiiige prøve noget snefarvning nu vi fik et ekstra hvidt drys, og ja, det er sjovt fordi det er ret uforudsigeligt. Især nÃ¥r man kvajer sig undervejs. 😉 Jeg har en tendens til at først læse manualer og tutorials nÃ¥r jeg har forsøgt mig mindst én gang, gerne flere. Og sÃ¥ har jeg som regel hittet ud af det undervejs. Det er Ã¥benbart sjovere end at fÃ¥ et perfekt resultat med det samme?

Opsummering af min engelske fristil ovenfor er:

1. Brug meget mindre farvepulver end du tror du skal. 2. Lad garnet dryptørre grundigt inden du smider det i en gryde kogende vand eller plastwrap til dampning, der er RIGTIG meget overskudsvæske i fra sneen, og den blander sig til brun, hvis man bare lægger garnet i en bunke i håndvasken. OGSÅ selvom man trykker noget af vandet ud. 3. Mål vandets temperatur inden du putter garnet i, det er ikke ved at koge når der er damp og bobler, det er kun ca. 65 grader og det trækker endnu mere brunt ud af garnet.

Det smarteste er naturligvis at vælge farver som ikke mudrer, det ved jeg udmærket godt hvordan, men nÃ¥r ikke jeg har lagt planer pÃ¥ forskud tænker jeg altid, at det gÃ¥r nok lige. Jeg binder heller ikke feddet op, selvom jeg ogsÃ¥ ved at dette garn har brug for det, fordi der stort set ingenting er til at holde pÃ¥ det fra fabrikantens side. Jeg ved bare at jeg bliver sur hvis jeg sÃ¥ binder for stramt og fÃ¥r hvide bÃ¥nd pÃ¥ garnet. Say no more…

TÃ¥lmodighed er en dyd jeg ikke har sÃ¥ meget af…. Nu kan jeg sÃ¥ bruge x antal timer pÃ¥ at vikle skidtet ud!

What Is Your Spring Wish

PiaChit Chat

Jamie asks this at Wishcasting Wednesday: What Is Your Spring Wish.

As I mentioned earlier, I’m experimenting with intention, affirmations (more on that later in the week) and making them public. Which in itself is an exercise in accepting/daring to show vulnerability because half your readers will probably think all this is ridiculous.

So, my spring wish is no less than “inner peace and an untethered heart”.

Play along according to the rules on Jamies page if you like.

filmscan017

Today

PiaChit Chat

Another gorgeous day to look at after a stormy Saturday by the sea. It’s still painfully cold, but the sun, ah, the sun! Makes me feel like this: (remember to turn up your speakers)

So I mentioned a picture book about my Charlie and how I’ve had the title ready for years but not really getting any further ideas. Well, after going public with it, suddenly little sentences are plopping into my head while I’m driving, when I wake up, nothing to make a Stephen King sized novel, but quite amazing considering my brain has been on strike for so long. Trickle is fine, I still have all the artwork to do. 😉

I’ve also experienced lately how communicating openly about various issues, such as carrying an emotional trauma in my body from multiple “rodeo” incidents in the last 10 years that were both shocking and painful (no, not Charlie’s doing), makes the whole issue, not solved and gone but somewhat deflated, a lot calmer and slightly more rational. Simply by acknowledging, to myself not the least, that the problem exists. I had been putting that one at the bottom of my list of “things to work with” and suddenly realised it might actually belong somewhere at the top (or I just finally got ready to deal with it – long story that I’m not going to bore you with)

This is very interesting to me – how speaking your intention out loud apparently sets wheels in motion that just thinking and worrying in your own head doesn’t. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. But it’s something I’m going to play with. A new level of honesty – not that I lie, but there’s lots I don’t tell for various reasons. Or I gloss over problems: real horsegurlz aren’t scared of anything, right? What is also interesting about this concept is whether it sharpens my own resolve, focus, ability to see the path. Will my words and thoughts about subjects become less fuzzy and click into place? I’m sure we could all use more clarity from time to time, or am I the only one who has no clue where I’m headed and what my “calling” might be?

To be continued – a storm of comments are as always welcome.

I still haven't decided on the image style for Charlies book - 3D, cartoon style, painting, a mix?
I still haven’t decided on the image style for Charlie’s book – 3D, cartoon style, painting, a mix?

Funyarns

PiaPÃ¥ dansk

Originally this post was drafted to show and talk about “designing” yarn. (see how I had to put that into quotation marks, so as not to come off too presumptuous 😉 ) And then as usual I got sidetracked from the yarn ideas I had so they still live in my head.

The first yarn that I "designed" shortly after I started spinning, 4 shades of merino blended on my homemade hackle
The first yarn that I “designed” shortly after I started spinning, 4 shades of merino blended on my homemade hackle

The funyarns are figments of my imagination, not so much planned for or even suitable for knitting, but spun just because. Because the colour concept appealed to me, to resemble something I’d seen (such as the half done rowan tree yarn), or just to experiment. I won’t call them art yarns, because I’m just not that good. It’s not that I don’t enjoy spinning yarn for a purpose, but it’s a different joy. Funyarns are really more like painting.

So anyway, I’ve spun almost a pound of wool in the last couple of days for absolutely no purpose at all, it’s colourful and random, so I thought I’d kick off this category now and keep adding once in a while.

jungle2 jungle1

It started out with a challenge on Ravelry, theme “Safari” (which incidentally was my own suggestion). I had a couple of batts that I bought a long time ago before I knew the difference between a real woolen prep and “just” combed top blended on a drumcarder, still running perpendicular. One is not better than the other, just different spinning, different purpose. I thought one set of batts looked quite like a piece of rainforest, so off I went spinning a fat single.

I have all sorts of things going through my head while I see the fiber run by my hands, goes something like this: “I wonder if I should have included some pink tufts for orchids in a jungle, no, all that yellow is enough. So would this resemble the amazonas rainforest or this turquoise, where do they have those mineral lakes in old sinkholes, Indonesia? Hmmmm, this is turning out a bit muddy and earthy, a bit Mexican inspired colouring with the strong greens and yellows? Do they have jungles too? I should make some South American themed colourways. And Chinese inspired drawings (oh, don’t be silly, not in this lifetime. I thought you wanted to be the new Otto Frello?). And definitely look up something on Celtic symbols as well as old Scandinavian. And do a palette of the garment colours used in various times in Europe for some project. But something oriental would be cool too.” Yes, that IS pretty much what the inside of my head looks like more often than not.

jungle1

Turned out much more blended than I wanted, I liked the batts better than the yarn, but such is the way of those things. In any case I decided to spin ALL the batts to practise getting that thickness. Whoosh! All gone, one empty box. And the red and purple with gold thread took me on a trip to India, so around the world in a few hours isn’t half bad, is it? I must be getting better at it too, since each yarn ended up shorter than the previous colour. I don’t normally thwack my yarns, because I don’t want the halo, but these got a severe beating because I wanted them to felt a bit and bloom as much as possible.

bollyw
Bollywood collection 😉

Which leads me to my second mission: fiber stash bashing. When I first started out I bought all sorts of random stuff to try out, then I had a bad spell and didn’t spin for something like 8 months and now I just want something completely different. I still love to OGLE all the pretties that are offered for sale on Etsy, but I do love to make my projects from scratch, i.e. dyeing my own fiber. I also need more space for my paint supplies now, so I’m going to try to spin all that random fiber and in the future keep just a stock of undyed fiber in a few varieties that I like.

This was originally named Sea & Sand when I dyed it – but it actually could go in the savanna category all spun up, yeah? Smallest braid spun this week also.seasand14

seasand17

badboys

In an ideal world and a bigger house I’d have all the yarns and all the fibers (and all the paints, inks, papers, cameras, horses, greenhouses and…). But then I do like my sleep, so I think the current plan is probably the wisest. 😀

.

Spindehalløj

Jeg kunne godt tænke mig at tømme lidt ud i mit fiberlager, så jeg kun har ufarvede fibre i mine yndlingssorter liggende. Dels mangler jeg plads til andre hobbyting, dels fordi mit fokus har ændret sig lidt siden jeg begyndte at spinde.

Og da jeg har rigeligt med strikkeprojekter pÃ¥ venteliste, vil jeg bruge den næste tid pÃ¥ at spinde garn som ikke har noget formÃ¥l, men bare er skægt, har en flot farve eller fordi jeg har en tosset “design”ide.

SÃ¥ jeg startede med en fletning jeg selv havde farvet, i superwash BFL. Bagefter kom turen til Ravelrygruppens februarudfordring “Safari”, og da jeg var godt i gang med at øve tyk single tog jeg lige de resterende batts i den kasse fra samme leverandør, købt den gang jeg ikke kendte forskel pÃ¥ rigtigt karteflor og kæmmede fibre kørt en gang pÃ¥ kartemaskine for at blande farverne let. Det gik let og gesvindt, og hvert garn blev lidt kortere end det forrige, sÃ¥ lidt bedre til at spinde tykt blev jeg da, selvom det ikke er super-bulky.

Normalt tæver jeg ikke mit garn, for jeg kan bedst lide det glat, men singlerne her har fået rigtig mange bank, så de kunne filte lidt og puffe så meget op som muligt.