I’m a bit dead in the water at the moment, nothing brilliant emerging upstairs, no flow happening if I try to do stuff anyway. Finally got my spray paint a while ago to finish those frames, but had lost all steam in the meantime when it came to showing the result.

This morning it occurred to me that perhaps this is a unique opportunity to dig into all those project ideas (well one or two of them) that I just make a note of but never begin because time.

For instance I have lots of ideas for little items I could sell and finally make a contribution to the household, but my production time is so slow that no matter what, the hourly rate wouldn’t be worthwhile and eventually over the years I see others having success with similar ideas and then I can’t be bothered at all. I wonder why everything takes me so long? The only part of me that is able to run full out is apparently my brain.

Maybe I simply have to come to terms with being an experimenter, not an artist. Which I guess I don’t mind so much on a personal level, but, well, it’s not really much of a job unless you have a hands-free corkscrew or self-loading dishwasher to show at the end of the day!

I know that picking just one idea and working it to the bone, full time, would of course speed me up. But I’m pretty good at making estimates and it still doesn’t look like I’d be able to feed and clothe myself unless I learn how to forego sleep. It’s not a new theory, to survive on making items for sale 1:1 requires either a very very high price per unit or many many production hours (usually both). And believe it or not, I love efficiency, and the math doesn’t appeal to me. So how do I learn to speed up my production time?! And why am I so slow compared to everybody else? Where exactly am I lagging? It’s a bit of a mystery to be honest. No, I like the other option much better: Charge either $$$$$$ for my sh*t or make something once that will sell again and again and again.

Anyway, I’m still here, although blogging seems to have lost momentum as well. I have projects to show and tell. They just aren’t, you know, finished…

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7 thoughts on “September…

  1. I hear you! I can really relate to this.
    I have a gazillion ideas, so much I want to do, but it doesn’t happen. It’s like my brain enters a no-go zone on a regular basis, and when it’s there I don’t remember neither what I want to do nor should do. The ability to do things is gone as well, and I’m just staring into space wondering what on earth I’m doing here? What’s the point? Then, some glorious days, suddenly that internal cloud dissipates and a shaft of light bursts through – and I get a lot done. Afterwards I’m worn out and need to rest, and then the clouds move back in. Body struggles are no fun, but the mental effect of MS is the worst. Though, the more I read about this, the more sure I am that it’s not the mental effect of MS. It’s the mental effect of gut dysbiosis. And MS is also an effect of this dysbiosis. Fingers crossed I manage to get that part of me in balance…soon.

  2. I’m the same! I offer you sympathy but no solutions; if I had them, I’d certainly be using them for myself also! If you come up with solutions, let us know!

  3. When I get like this, I ask myself–what do I *want* to do? What would be fun? Then I just start, for the fun of it. You’re putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself, I think, with the “shoulds.”

    1. I know, but I can’t just live in lala land until I’m out in the street either. When I do make things, I don’t try to make “something popular” in order to sell it, but I do need to keep up a steady production to evolve if you know what I mean. Even I can get bored with just dabbling!

      It’s been a dreary summer, and the weather + happenings have definitely depleted my energy instead of boosting as the season should. I’m fairly certain I’ll get my ducks in a row once I finish my fall chores which are time sensitive (such as carting the firewood into the shed), they keep nagging at the back of my mind every time I turn it to painterly things.

      My pinched shoulder thing seems to be gone – now I have a crick in my lower neck instead!!! Once I work through that I think it’ll be spinning time.

      But it’s not entirely a bad thing to be out of NEW ideas once in a while, since I have so many of the old ones on hold… 😉

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