Finally

Got my painter’s “corner” set up in the living room by rearranging furniture. Now I just have to battle my performance anxiety alongside my urge to spend a fortune on supplies….

So taking up this hobby again after 10-15 years (not counting computer graphics and similar antics) has been a strong urge lately but also brought out all sorts of fears. I have no idea why this resistance exists in me, it must mean it’s somehow important and my subconscious wants to fight it with any means to make me lay off and continue my old path. It’s futile, as I’m determined to keep pushing, but an interesting process, a tug of war. I guess I not only have an inner critic I need to talk some sense into, but also a drama queen and somewhere in the far corner lives Marvin, the paranoid android.

I might get wheelies for this if I get into large paintings again, since I’m short and it’ll be a struggle to reach over a 40 cm deep shelf. But I really like these square modules with all the different kinds of baskets and accessories that you can get. And if I can just roll it to the right under the window, it won’t be a problem! You can say a lot about IKEA stuff, but it sure is easy to set up in no time, even by an arthritic midget like myself. (am I a weirdo for actually liking that kind of activities?)

Cartoon of my horses that I was working on a few years ago.

There was absolutely nowhere this would have fit in here before we turned sofa and tv 180 degrees, but we don’t actually feel more cramped than before, so that’s a definite win – just have to live with one part backing up to the window. An added bonus is, I can now see the fireplace from the sofa.

To be continued….

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PÃ¥ dansk

SÃ¥ fik vi endelig drejet sofaen 90 grader og tv’et flyttet til den anden væg, sÃ¥ jeg kunne fÃ¥ mig et lille hobbyhjørne i stuen. SÃ¥ mangler jeg bare at finde ud af, om jeg overhovedet KAN male efter sÃ¥ mange Ã¥rs pause, det føles faktisk lidt skræmmende selvom lysten er der. Underligt, at man kan have sÃ¥ modsatrettede følelser for noget som bare skulle være sjov og ballade, ikke? Men jeg vælger at tolke modstanden fra min underbevidsthed som et tegn pÃ¥, at jeg faktisk har gang i noget vigtigt, sÃ¥ den indre kritiker kan fÃ¥ en finger kan den. Basta.

1990 – aner ikke hvad det forestiller.

For at det hele ikke skal komme til at ligne et formningslokale har jeg tænkt mig at sætte et stykke klar plast pÃ¥ væggen bag lærrederne, lige til at pille ned hvis der kommer gæster, ligesom min “fine” røde voksdug hurtigt kan fjernes fra spisebordet. Til daglig er vi ret ligeglade med den slags, det er et sted vi lever, ikke en udstilling…. Og jeg ved, at hvis jeg skal bruge en halv time pÃ¥ at rydde pynteting væk og finde ting frem inden jeg kan komme i gang, ja, sÃ¥ bliver det ikke til noget. Nu kan jeg jonglere med farvepulver sÃ¥ snart jeg kommer ud af brusebadet med en god ide til noget nyt garn, og lærredet sidder pÃ¥ væggen og rÃ¥ber til mig hver gang jeg træder ind af døren: ikke flere dÃ¥rlige undskyldninger!

Fortsættelse følger…

8 thoughts on “Finally

  1. I’m really looking forward to hearing how you get on with this project and how you get over your painting anxiety! I am particularly interested in this storyline as I am having very similar feelings myself – I have been wanting to take up painting and drawing for a few years now, for a while I just kept stocking up on supplies yet somehow I just couldn’t start the actual process of painting. To get over this impasse, I’ve decided I’ll simplify the task and concentrate on learning to draw first, perhaps that’ll help me get over the fear of the white canvass!

    1. Personally I’d go the other way round, because for me at least, drawing has to be very precise and look like something, whereas paint can be slathered on with huge brushes and big movements and still look great just because of the colour combo. So you get gratification sooner without much practise. Start out with only 2 colours, preferably that blend well, such as yellow and blue, nothing else, perhaps white. That way you can’t get mud. Use plenty of sponges or kitchen tissue to smear or whipe off, focus only on getting a nice background that is NOT a blank, white space.

      Our problem is that we’ve forgotten how to be beginners. We want our first painting to be good enough to exhibit, making everybody go oooh and aaaah. So we don’t play. No play = no creativity.

      I tried to solve that by doing things that I really am a beginner at, such as the paper /leaf prints. I had absolutely no goal apart from getting “something” onto the paper, any colour and shape would do, it’s all just wonderfully organic. Same thing happened when I learned to spin, I knew I’d suck at it, so I just had fun, and luckily I’ve been able to keep that attitude with spinning. But painting? Hello, I know how to do that, and just thinking about it for 15 years ought to have enhanced my skills, even, right?! If I fail, as in make something “amateurish”, it’s practically the end of my life, I’ll have to flee the country and go live under a rock! (and btw I’m going through the same thing with my photography)

      So I think it would be very cool to share our thoughts and progress!

      1. I think you are so right that a good starting point would be to make it all about playing with colour, rather than make it look like something. A while ago, as a part of a colour blending work shop for spinning I had a go at just making pretty colour mixes with pastels and that was so much fun. The aim of the exercise was to learn to match a colour you see on a postcard or photograph, so it was really simple, you just applied lots of different colours on paper until you were happy with the results. And with pastels you can smudge it all with your fingers, making it a nice tactile experience too. Just pure playing. I think we need to discover our inner child… 😉

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