Forced painting

PiaChit Chat

I’m slowly getting back to hands on tasks, and I’m determined to break a barrier or two before the year is over.

It’s funny how I can happily mess about with painting abstract backgrounds / washes forever, and then I get stuck. Or any idea I might have doesn’t work out – probably because I’m so scared to ruin it that I overthink, and then paint over the failure with a new background. It’s quite clear I have a performance anxiety here that I don’t experience with photography, probably because I can’t trust my hands to be able to do what’s in my head, the craftsman part of it. And we all know how that part is achieved!

wip  ruined04 wip2

It mostly happens when I paint without a plan, which is what I’ve been trying out for a while. Just picking a set of colours and see what happens. Of course, it could be that I’m simply not suited for the so called intuitive approach. I do have several complete illustrations in my head, but they don’t even get started apart from some very preliminary sketches or even just descriptions. And I have a feeling they’re kinda blocking the doorway for any new ones…

So I’ve decided to just make them, force myself to begin – and if they’re no good, I can make them again. Totally new experience to me, I never did the same image twice. Or rehearsed them.

As for the backgrounds sitting in a pile, I’ll try to put anything on there now, even if it’s not what I think is my usual topic matter. For instance, even though I love gardens and take copious photos of flowers, I never considered myself a floral painter. But I quit resisting when all this canvas wanted was some poppies – now I just have to work on them a lot, as you can see they’re going through multiple stages before being even close to a sketch. (I was interrupted the other day, as usual. By the same person who interrupted me with the same painting a month ago, when I was doing the background! I just hope it won’t be another month before I get back to it – last time I completely forgot my actual plan with it. And well, the famous thumb and all…)

wip

I don’t really wish to paint from life – that’s a camera thing for me. Painting is for the world inside my head.

I actually have a third hurdle, as if the first two weren’t enough. I never painted or drew people. I never take photos with people if I can help it, even as a tourist I wait until everybody is out of the frame before I click. But it appears that some of my “illustrations” have people in them. Which means I have to learn from scratch and develop a “style” if I want these images to live. It’s not going to be easy, I’m no good at people in any aspect. I even avoid mirrors.

I’m still not certain whether this new thing is really coming from me though, or if I’m simply influenced by all the mixed-media art journaling I’ve been seeing around. So the figures may or may not happen.

And that’s what I’ll be dedicating December to. No more touchy feely I’ll bloody well do what I feel like-a-day. I’ve got a job. Not like pretending to make art, no, this will be deliberate and planned destruction. Because I am in the mood and still nothing happens, as opposed to not really feeling like it but thinking you should.

I don’t know why I persist, but it seems I have to give it a go. And yarn. Silly, useless, colourful string. I always have my Adobe studies to fall back on if my hand acts up. And plugins..

All I know is, I spent many years doing just tedious jobs and nothing creative at all and I don’t like the person that turns me into – I don’t think anybody else does either. So I need to keep giving this as much space as possible, because even if it sounds like I struggle, it really is the only thing that keeps me alive. It doesn’t have to end with painting – after all it’s been on the shelf for 20 years while other crafts are more recent and perhaps more likely to yield “products” I’m happy to call finished. But just as I always considered myself a horse rider even when I didn’t ride for a decade, I still have this image of myself as someone who paints. Weird, huh?

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Sample spinning

PiaPÃ¥ dansk

Remember the fiber I bought at the sheep market? I’ve been wondering how I wanted to spin the variegated top on the right, so I decided to get all scientific about it and at least try out all the usual varieties (knowing full well that perhaps in the end I’d have 50g of samples….)

merino

So a split lenghtwise 2-ply, a chainply, a fatter single and a 2×2 cable for starters. As well as knitted swatches!! Then afterwards, depending on the results, I might look into new to me spinning methods…

Well, I got as far a 2×2 cable, real thin, as I thought it might emulate a thicker, longer yarn using the whole top. And realized that all the plying would just make me an orange yarn. (of course I could try 3×3 chain ply, but no, not this time)

flat cable

Then I thought I was real clever, and brave too, deciding to waste all my yarn on something really different (to me). Never mind all that sampling!

I split it in half, then one half split into a thick rope and a thin. The idea was to try and match the lenghts/colours when plying the two. Well, it works in theory. Except I haven’t spun for ages and I’m prone to underspinning – even when I think I’ve added extra twist. The fiber is superwash. Can you see where this is going? Yes, everything pretty much drifted apart when I tried to ply. Some bits are looking really good, but it’s definitely not the same type of yarn at both ends! I will however try this again some other time as I think it could be a really cool feature in a woven item of some sort.

The other half I spun fairly thin, and then I wanted to make a coiled yarn. Well, duh. After 20 cm or so plying, I learned that to make coils, your single should probably be somewhat thicker than your core unless you want serious corkscrews as well! I think I’ve got a pretty good handle on how to make the coils though, I just have to figure out what to do with a thin, variegated, orange single now….

superwash merino

Testspinding

Jeg har gået længe og funderet på, hvad jeg skulle spinde af mit orange fiber fra fåredagen. Spekulerede i mange nye eksperimenter som jeg ikke har prøvet før, lavede en lillebitte test med kabeltvinding, som bare gjorde det hele ensfarvet orange og kedeligt.

SÃ¥ jeg endte med at finde pÃ¥ noget for mig rigtig vildt og uvant. Og selvfølgelig mislykkes med begge dele, men til gengæld har jeg lært lidt af hvert. Det er lidt ærgerligt, at jeg ikke fik noget direkte brugbart ud af de fine fibre, men sÃ¥dan er der sÃ¥ meget….

Den ene halvdel splittede jeg op på langs i en tyk og en tynd tot, som jeg så forsøgte at spinde lige lange, så det, når det var tvundet, ville være en tyk og en tynd som fulgte samme farveforløb.

Det virkede også rimeligt i teorien, bortset fra jeg ikke har spundet meget længe og har en tendens til at underspinde. Fibrene er desuden superwash og meget glatte og kan ikke filtes hvis det kniber med sammenholdet! Og ja, det hele skred jo fra hinanden gang på gang da jeg begyndte at sno det den anden vej, ikke?

Godt sÃ¥, næste lektion bestod i at lave “coils”, kan vi kalde det fjedergarn pÃ¥ dansk? Jeg spandt en tynd single, for sÃ¥ tænkte jeg at det færdige garn ikke blev sÃ¥ massivt. Efter 20 cm tvinding fandt jeg sÃ¥ ud af, at det ikke er en smart ide at kernen er samme tykkelse som garnet, men skal være meget tyndere, ellers kommer der sÃ¥ meget sno pÃ¥ at det ikke bare ligner en fjeder pÃ¥ den ene led, men at selve garnet ogsÃ¥ er en grisehale. SÃ¥ nu har jeg en lang tynd single i orange nuancer jeg skal have fundet pÃ¥ et eller andet sjovt til!