Allrighty then, do I have your attention now the holidays are officially over?
Blogging, SoMe, juggling life in general – is that a well-hidden secret of adulting? I wonder what percentage of the population are actually super organized all of the time. I keep coming back to the intention and then bam, months happened. Læs videre “Pia has a Plan?”→
Oh yes, why am I surprised? Today is my first day without chores in, like, a month, and what do I do? Wake up with a headache. Can’t read, can’t enjoy the lovely sunny day outside, no painting, spinning or anything. I can’t remember doing anything physically challenging yesterday either, which could aggravate my spine. If I believed in such things as outside forces of Fate I’d say that I’m not “supposed” to enjoy myself too much with activities that nourish me. Just as I had every hindrance available to make me stop horseriding… (which incidentally worked, now that I’m out of money and my bones all beaten up) And there I was, all certain the thread collection was a little sign!
Sigh, I suppose I could wash the bed linen and s**t… Really, I could have done that WHILE I was weaving! <shaking fist in the air> 😉
Perhaps it’s time that I begin work on my next Keyword, Listen. To my body even more, although I’ve been trying hard to pay attention to it (some claim I should say “her”, but I’m not really down with that), but now also to my subconscious, my Self, everything around me. It’s really, really frustrating to want something badly and look forward to it and then not get it. I deserve a break! I’m not sure I’ll ever be content with a life purpose of cleaning woman, so I need to find out what else to do if I can’t pursue the things that light me up. What path haven’t I noticed yet? In the meantime I’ll probably fight back and do my things in tiny, tiny bits if that’s what I get, but wouldn’t it be nice if I figured out what this Resistance is really all about once and for all?
How do you talk to your Resistance? Apparently kicking and screaming isn’t doing the job, LOL.
“Everybody talks about it, but nothing is being done….”
This post has been a lot longer in my folder than I anticipated, the days seem to suddenly just have flown by with all sorts of nonsense no matter how I prepare. :/ It’ll have to be a prequel instead.
I actually chose “whoop whoop” a topic for getting some painterly skills back, while I ponder my problems with the figurative stuff. I do have ideas that include recognizable objects such as horses, a few tiny people and one very large fish! but I can’t draw for s**t without the aid of my computer. I always did best with a large brush.
So while I was on the background production theme anyway, I grabbed “skies” off my multi page idea list. Simple, fits well with my photography style too. To make it even less complicated I got a stack of really cheap-get-what-you-paid-for tiny 20 cm canvasses that I seem to have no fear of attacking. I don’t like working acrylics on paper unfortunately and I’ve given up on watercolours just now, also to simplify my task list. So there. Supermarket canvas. Boards would be fine too, but I don’t have any. I got 12 canvasses, then G went insane and raided two more shops on our way home from the big city.
It’s the first time ever that I’ve enjoyed working small. 50×50 and up used to be more like it, but for some reason I’m having a blast playing with these. (Still using 5 cm foam brushes, though 😉 ) Mostly just winging it, sometimes looking at cloud photos because I can’t quite remember the technique to paint them. My aim is not traditional landscape, really, so I hope eventually I’ll arrive at something that is “mine”. Currently I’m trying to get a feel for doing like I used to vs. wanting something different. Definitely fumbling, mainly trying to just do, not think. Wading through standard compositions to see if new things emerge in the process.
Some of the pictures comply and resemble skies, others persist in remaining backgrounds, my usual syndrome. Sometimes I let them, simply swiping the remains of my palette before ending the session. I don’t know what’s going to be on any of the paintings beyond the next step, and sometimes not even that, no sketching, I just begin by throwing paint. Makes life interesting… Some of these are getting A LOT of layers, another advantage over watercolour.
When I run out of storage space I’ll have to auction them off to get money for a new batch 😛 If all else fails, there’s gesso! Perhaps this pile will last me forever?!
While they dry, I play with some of the bigger wips. Colour blending exercises are fine too, I’m attracted to different combos than I used to, so I need to learn to make them, rather than my “goto greens”. Then we’ll see what happens. It’s a long way to go, but I’m not counting.
I felt I could find space to paint at least 3 days a week when I began this post and definitely feeling the flow and the glow, but reality has been different. There is no gallery of 20 weather pix for you to browse, just a few beginnings and sketches. I’m going ahead and posting them anyway, since I started the journey here, I may as well keep recording it.
I still feel it’s possible to pick up momentum again, if I’m “allowed”. If I allow myself. Complicated issues are happening on the sidelines and I tend to sponge some of it up even when it’s not mine to deal with.
Wish me luck pls! I feel right in this element, so there has to be something more to it besides wasting supplies. During this process it’s slowly dawning on me what I do want to make, that is not like this. Maybe. Things are lurking in the mists at the back of my head that would like to come out. Or I’d like them to. So I can see what they are. 😉 Perhaps that will help me become slightly less obsessed?
I’m painting today and I’m determined to keep at it even if there are loud phone conversations upstairs, lunch requests and various pet related incidents. I started out with something easy, filling in the poppy shapes I did months ago (I think I’m going to have a look at real poppies before I move on 😉 ), but I also want to get a sketch done which has lived in my head for a long time. I bet it’s blocking the way for others!
Why am I persisting with a medium that seems so difficult for me? (not new, I did paint quite a lot many years ago) I actually wrote a 3000 word blog post on that over the weekend, it’s not even done yet and I don’t think I’ll ever publish it. But the short version is: A because it keeps knocking, B that I suspect the things which are easy at first may not be the ones where you ultimately excel, and C I have to get over my story of how I need perfect surroundings before I can begin. At the very least I should tell it differently.
See, in just over 200 words! That was some kickass editing if you ask me.
Right, egg sandwiches done and on my part eaten, back to work. While waiting for the others to dry I’ve hauled out one of the used canvasses I “inherited”. At first I tried to work with the lines and colour there, but it’s not working even if I see some kind of forest scene in my head. But nevermind, today’s exercise is simply: keep at it. That’s my only ambition. All day, only the necessary breaks when somebody is either hungry or needs to pee. After all, it’s not Molly’s fault that I’m an idjit. (‘m allowed to blog while I eat egg sandwiches)
I think I may have answered my colour question from last week. I keep wanting to mix in clean colours with the black and olive, I even happily dipped away in phtalo blue when I thought I’d reached for the ultramarine…
November 17th 2021 - I'll be changing my prices to DKKr. to cater to the local market and prevent typos on my part.
Please use a currency converter, since they do a better job than I at keeping up with market fluctuations. Luk