How’s the weather?

“Everybody talks about it, but nothing is being done….”

This post has been a lot longer in my folder than I anticipated, the days seem to suddenly just have flown by with all sorts of nonsense no matter how I prepare. :/ It’ll have to be a prequel instead.

I actually chose “whoop whoop” a topic for getting some painterly skills back, while I ponder my problems with the figurative stuff. I do have ideas that include recognizable objects such as horses, a few tiny people and one very large fish! but I can’t draw for s**t without the aid of my computer. I always did best with a large brush.

So while I was on the background production theme anyway, I grabbed “skies” off my multi page idea list. Simple, fits well with my photography style too. To make it even less complicated I got a stack of really cheap-get-what-you-paid-for tiny 20 cm canvasses that I seem to have no fear of attacking. I don’t like working acrylics on paper unfortunately and I’ve given up on watercolours just now, also to simplify my task list. So there. Supermarket canvas. Boards would be fine too, but I don’t have any. I got 12 canvasses, then G went insane and raided two more shops on our way home from the big city.

pile

It’s the first time ever that I’ve enjoyed working small. 50×50 and up used to be more like it, but for some reason I’m having a blast playing with these. (Still using 5 cm foam brushes, though 😉 ) Mostly just winging it, sometimes looking at cloud photos because I can’t quite remember the technique to paint them. My aim is not traditional landscape, really, so I hope eventually I’ll arrive at something that is “mine”. Currently I’m trying to get a feel for doing like I used to vs. wanting something different. Definitely fumbling, mainly trying to just do, not think. Wading through standard compositions to see if new things emerge in the process.

weather01
A batch of first layers

Some of the pictures comply and resemble skies, others persist in remaining backgrounds, my usual syndrome. Sometimes I let them, simply swiping the remains of my palette before ending the session. I don’t know what’s going to be on any of the paintings beyond the next step, and sometimes not even that, no sketching, I just begin by throwing paint. Makes life interesting… Some of these are getting A LOT of layers, another advantage over watercolour.

When I run out of storage space I’ll have to auction them off to get money for a new batch 😛 If all else fails, there’s gesso! Perhaps this pile will last me forever?!

While they dry, I play with some of the bigger wips. Colour blending exercises are fine too, I’m attracted to different combos than I used to, so I need to learn to make them, rather than my “goto greens”. Then we’ll see what happens. It’s a long way to go, but I’m not counting.

I felt I could find space to paint at least 3 days a week when I began this post and definitely feeling the flow and the glow, but reality has been different. There is no gallery of 20 weather pix for you to browse, just a few beginnings and sketches. I’m going ahead and posting them anyway, since I started the journey here, I may as well keep recording it.

I still feel it’s possible to pick up momentum again, if I’m “allowed”. If I allow myself. Complicated issues are happening on the sidelines and I tend to sponge some of it up even when it’s not mine to deal with.

Wish me luck pls! I feel right in this element, so there has to be something more to it besides wasting supplies. During this process it’s slowly dawning on me what I do want to make, that is not like this. Maybe. Things are lurking in the mists at the back of my head that would like to come out. Or I’d like them to. So I can see what they are. 😉 Perhaps that will help me become slightly less obsessed?

To be continued….

Year of the Horse 2014

blavatarWell, technically not until January 31st. and not someting I normally pay attention to. Yet this is a circle closing for me, as I was born in the year of the horse and the animal itself is a lifelong love for me. The spirit of the horse is recognized to be “the Chinese people’s ethos – making unremitting efforts to improve themselves. It is energetic, bright, warm-hearted, intelligent and able.”

As I was contemplating the notion of making a journal based on “Word of the year” – or in my case as a multipod, word of the month, it struck me that perhaps I could use horses as the underlying image theme. The hero’s journey on horseback. Could this be a “the year when I finally return to myself – theme”?

I’m not really a journaling person, (but then I said I never do poetry and began to write haiku!) this blog is the closest I’ve ever come to a diary, and printed calendars I usually fill in for about 3 weeks. So when Quinn asked for our choice of words for the year I really just played along for fun. But then we got a bit of a conversation going and I thought about doing something with words and paints and mulled it over and then – guess what? I won the book!! (what a nice feeling to actually delete something from my Amazon list)

“Inner Hero Creative Art Journal” by Quinn McDonald is a book about silencing your inner critic as well as a collection of actual mixed media techniques that I’m really looking forward to trying out. And the topic, well, we all know how that’s just what I need! It just arrived in the mail today, but I’ll let you know at a later date how I’m getting along with it.

I’ve also mentioned before that for years I’ve had the title and loose idea for a book about Charlie, but been stuck ever since. Is this an opening? Time will tell! Any trick that generates good things is fine with me. Horses are as good a topic to bind together different crafts as any. Can I point my imagery in that direction for such a long time I wonder? I could do with a few limitations…

Charlie & Rollo

Apart from working with key words and the Hero Journal prompts, I’m also going to try out the Bullet Journal, as well as a sidekick to that describing various project ideas in more detail. Out with the post-it/back of envelopes/10 pads system and in with structure! I found a notebook with 4 colour sections to keep similar project ideas in the same general area. In fact my bullet journal does too, in case I want to expand the concept.

I don’t know if I’m a person who likes or benefits from working with key words like this. Not even sure “how it’s done” but I’m not going to spend a lot of time investigating how others do it, I’ll just be aware and see what happens. I know I can’t pick one single one for a whole year – so sue me. But I don’t mind giving it a whirl to see what it does. Unless I get sidetracked of course.

And – I have to make sure this is not just some thing to get me sidetracked from something else. It’s generating a lot of thoughts already. This is meant to be a tool for the work I want to do, not a new, big project in itself. If it’s not a helper, out it goes. You see, my word for January is

Intention/Focus (ok, so it’s two words, I noticed already)

But I fear if I go on, this will be a really long post, so I’ll save the rest for another day. My intention is to make a couple of posts about each month’s keyword, the questions I ask myself, progress, exercises until I run out of interested readers. If I really start blabbing I’ll just keep it to myself and post excerpts. We’ll see. Right now, I’m going to press Publish and shut my brain down for the day.

Caliber

My homeschooling project

After debating this with myself and some of the regular readers (thank you for responding), I’ve decided to not embark on extra subjects just now, but instead try to structure my current activities better – which will incidentally also allow me to go deeper, make research and so, learn more. I will be diving into the Adobe Suite again, but since it’s related work I feel that it’s not too much of a distraction.

Perhaps these things (choosing and whatnot) are a lot easier if you have a vocation in life, I don’t know. Some say you should not be looking for your path, since you’re already on it – so perhaps it’s more a question whether you were gifted with streetlights or not?

I won’t be picking up Flash again any time soon, so that’s a huge chunk I’m leaving out. Photoshop I can use not only for photography but also tapestry designing and colour work, InDesign for my layout skills. I have some painterly books with tasks and tutorials I’d like to work with, some of which can be tied into Illustrator learning.

photoshopping

I have a library list of various authors I’d like to investigate, but it’s mostly fiction for a change, so not really a chore. My A-level French books have been sitting on a shelf waiting for 30 years, I don’t suppose they’ll disintegrate all of a sudden and they can’t get much dustier already, so there, another confusion/procrastination away from the list for now.

So while I’m still tackling many things, it mostly comes down to images, colour and yarn. And I’ve said that before, haven’t I, when I “gave up” knitting. I just have to remember and stop confusing myself.

The schooling I’m after then is more structure, better work ethic, being able to work on one project at a time and still tie things together.

I was looking at my goals list for 2013, and really, I’ve been all over the place and hardly completed any of it. Especially with my physical goals, all talk and no action (and it shows). I still can’t drink my water! (I went and got one glass now)

Ok, it was an ambitious plan where I was coming from, but if you aim low you never get off the ground. And tiny steps were very much allowed, but I got carried away with the gardening and the plant dyeing and spent the remaining time sleepy.

12 weeks of the year to go. I better get serious! Not that I put very much importance in paper calendars and numbers, but I do feel a tiny bit of failure here.

Did I forget something? Writing. Horses – they’re the only ones that don’t fit in apart from the spot on my idea list which says “draw and paint many horses”. And my body issues of course, exercise and stuff. I can use the horses for some of my body issues and save time that way. I just lack the discipline it seems. (I trained both ponies this morning! And I feel way better than before I decided to! Yay me!)

Will there be blogging? I have no idea! I have a feeling I’m using it to procrastinate bigtime (no, actually it’s not just a feeling, I know I do it), but one has to socialize just a little bit, so they say.

tea time

How to study?

It’s no secret that I am and always have been, attracted to and intrigued by a multitude of subjects. And when I get my mind caught on something, I want to research and know everything about it, be it plant dyeing or horse nutrition. We’ve discussed how to learn, now I’m onto what.

photo collage

During a conversation about strengths last week, I realized, although I haven’t done Strengthsfinder 2.0, that one of mine is probably being a learner. All my life I’ve just sucked up information like a sponge and I love being a walking databank (others, not so much, my brother fiercely protested that I could not always be right, and my friend Nicole calls me “Hermione”). So although I feel I need more strengths to actually put my learning to good use, I think it’s altogether a pretty good superpower. 😉

I don’t know if all superpowers have a down side, but this one does: I get so absorbed in the theory, that I never get around to practice. When I get a new camera (like – once a century or so) I want to know what ALL the buttons do and then proceed to take really boring crummy pix because I’m in technical mode, not artistic. I just watched some videos on Golden products and began making a list, I want that one and this one and I gotta try such and such and…. Never mind that I need an extra wad of cash coming in if I want to buy ALL the things , they don’t do much on their own while I’m reading tutorials (I guess this link totally dates me).

I mentioned brain art before and it goes very well hand in hand with my desire to learn. And nothing to show for it except a lot of supplies!! (And then when I do get cracking I discard all exercises and just do my own thing – I guess I’m weird that way (too)). People are often asking me “what have you made?” (or – can’t you sell your stuff?) Um, yeah, right, what stuff, I’m just playing, err….

Incidentally on my list is for instance black gesso, could somebody please tell me what is was that I wanted that for? 😉 Note to self: when making wish lists, also write down why. (I know what it is – but why?)

I sometimes regret being a jack of all trades and master at none, while I also don’t really want to give anything up unless it fades on its own. And I feel like I’m up to adding more knowledge right now, less randomly. I love to study (much more than “working”) and I’d like to go deeper, the question is, what would be the best method.

I have a whole list of topics that I specifically want to develop further such as Photoshopping and more languages.

thttp://cathsheard.wordpress.com/2013/09/29/done-done-done/

So I’d like to know what other people do and why that works best for each of you.

Do it like we used to at school – various subjects every day or week for a few hours/a day at a time, or all-in doing just the one thing for a week, month or longer? Normally I use the completely unstructured variety called “whatever I feel like” which isn’t very efficient because I keep going off on tangents. I think I need to make up a curriculum for myself for, say, the winter? To remove the urge of doing ALL the things NOW.

I’m not planning on taking actual out of the house classes, which is inconvenient for me as well as not very appealing. With bookish topics I want to do MY thing and not wait for everybody else or follow their agenda. I’m much more likely to do weekend workshops on the crafty subjects such as weaving.

So far I’ve been thinking a maximum of 2 topics per week + whatever else I feel like doing, as in not studying per se. What I don’t know is if I can keep up the same two for several months and not even look at other books/articles? Perhaps one longterm and several that take turns for a week or two or until I feel like I’m done with each for the “semester”?

A topic lasting “all” day will most likely be only once a week. I do have some kind of life on the side, ya know? Sometimes I do well with that, other times I can’t focus on the same for so many hours. Half days are more realistic at present. I also have to consider not overdoing it, putting more and more pressure on myself to perform, because then my brain shuts me down completely.

And then after some pondering and writing this post, I’m beginning to think “just one”. One “serious” topic at a time really is enough or I’ll run myself into the ground with ambition. Part of me hates to limit myself like that, but the second thought appeared to say, perhaps it’s also a path to freedom (strange choice of words, but that’s what it said). Can you hear how hectic my previous paragraphs sound? That’s the old me. Do I want to go there? Not really.

Now for the hardest part: pick one from the list. 😉 “You can do anything, but not everything.”

Gardening application UI
One study project that never went further because of job stress – learning to make Flash Air applications. It says “Garden calendar”, and my inner perfectionist already pointed out AND made me go correct the Illustrator file, that the K and the A are too far apart… 😉